ONE CHANCE!!!

My blogsville people,
Help me thank God for not allowing me to enter one chance oh!

This is not the literal, entering bus and being duped and all.
Let me explain!!!

I have got this policy of never going back to boyfriend, after break up and this is my saving grace.

Three months ago, I met him and He was begging me to come back to him, telling me how much he loves me and that this is for real and he would like to make me his wife.
My little sister was there and the big mouth did not waste time in telling mu mum when we got home.

I had told him, point blank then, that I had no more feelings for him and that nothing can make me come back to him.

We are friends and my mother knew him.
He used to come around to my house and would stay for hours.
My mother was even rooting for him.
So you can imagine my mother's reaction when my sister told her, about his proposal and my refusal.

The thought of considering him,never crossed my mind,
as I had the feeling that he want true and I would infact be settling.
I have not heard from him in a while and have never bothered to check his profile on facebook.

I ran into him on monday, I had actually got to their house
Normally when I vist, we usually enter the house, but this day he offered me a seat outside. I did not pay particular attention, as there was no light and I was not ready for seating down in some heat.
I did not notice his finger, until he told me that he was now married.
I mean he was 3weeks married.
Didn't you see my profile on facebook, he said. Like I have the time to start checking everyone's profile.

They had been going out for 8years.
Meaning, even when we were together, he was with her.
Even, when he was asking me to come back to him, She was in his life.
He even has the effrontery to tell me that, at least he asked me.
See me see maga.
All these time, I have spent with him, I never knew she existed, even after we broke up and became friends.
Dudes can be something else.


Am thanking God, for not letting me make the greatest mistake of my life.
I never slept with him, I was still a virgin, when I was him and
He just never felt like one I should give it to.
All we ever did was the kiss and smooch.

I am so grateful, it never went beyond that and
Particularly grateful, I did not give him a second chance.
That would have been worse!!!

MY FRIEND NOT

Seeing you today,
I realized one thing,
I have refused to acknowledge all these years.
You are not my friend.
You are just a girl who existed in my life
for the past 14 years.

Yes, you have never been a friend to me.
I have been the friend,
You have only been there for what I had to offer.

How I was wrong about you,
Even when everyone could see what you were doing,
Even though a part of me knew
I choose to believe you were a friend.

I have been the one hanging on
to this friendship, like my life depended on it.
Last time I checked,
friendship is a two way thing.

I was always there to help,
and you were always having one or another,
I never for a day complained.
Countless things I have done,
But I am never one to broadcast what I do to help anyone.

So because, you seem to be a little bit better off
You are feeling on top of the world
and better than every one else.

I am not a yes person,
as you have always known.
So you cannot do things to me
and expect me to keep quiet about it.

Seeing and talking to you made me realize.
I have also stop been a friend to you.
I felt like I was talking to a complete stranger.
The friendship of 14years has come to an end,
without me even realizing it until today.
Today, as i said good bye,
I knew it is forever.

I am not jealous of your little accomplishment,
Infact i am happy for you,
I wish you the very best in life.
Even though you cease to be my friend,
I wish you the very best.
You cease to be a part of my future
because you are not my friend.
Never was, never will.
Adieu...

Finally back to reading all them blogs.
Had to go take a break from blogsville
Not that I really intended to
Internet connection was limited but am back fully.
The last ten days of the fast was hectic for me.
Work was crazy, was actually out of the office for the whole week
This Ramadan was just not it for me at all

Finally moved out of my aunts house.
The whole issue got out of hand.
From my cousins having inferiority complex,
saying that me am feeling like mama worker.
To my aunt and her husband raising some hell.

Back in my mothers house for now.
Although it's stressful and money consuming,
love waking up in my bed,
Having my privacy back and
feeling the love of my family.

I am grateful that my mother is a Landlord too in Lagos,
If not, all these shit from my aunt would have been painful.
I could not believe the words that were coming out of the woman's mouth
Her husband was practically telling me he had the intention
of throwing me out of his house,
Like am homeless and would have no where to go to.
Anyways all that is in the past now.

Looking forward to a whole phase of my life,
With Love and a move in my professional life.
I know things will be great

THE ONLY REASON!!!!

You want it all,
I have been reluctant to give you all.
You told you love,
all I could say was thank you.
You want to know why I can not love you.
Why i can not fall madly in love with you, like you?

I can love you'
I can be madly and senselessly in love with,
More than you are or can ever express.

That which we are refusing to acknowledge as an issue,
might one day, turn us apart.
You say there is nothing to worry about,
You are not bother about it.


I so want to love you,
I want to express how i feel,
because with you, i come alive.
With you, I can be fulfilled.

The only reason,
The cause of my reluctance,

is our religious difference.

I don't one day want to wake to you tell me I have to change my religion.
I love been a Muslim, and not thinking of leaving it any time soon.
Even though, I think i am in love with you.
This might forever be an issue in our lives

Wondering!!!!

• If by having erotic feeling and thought of my boo, I have broken my fast. By the way I now a boo, gist of him later...............
• If I truly like my boo or if it's societal pressure thats getting to me. I like him but not entirely ready for this whole lovey dovey thing.
• How do I explain to my nine year old sister, that the two breast do not start growing at the same time.
• I will ever make heaven, as i am even struggling to fast this period and this is really bad.
• Why some people are just plain stupid and will never mind their own business.
• Why some people always feel the need to comment on facebook, even when they just are totally off point or utterly fool of themselves

Deep Breath!!!

I was this thin little bit close from losing it this morning.
But I decided to take a deep breath!!!
This whole deep breath thing helps some times but it is pretty frustrating.
When you want to let it out the way you feel but you just have to watch your words to avoid saying those things which can never be taken back.


My aunts house is becoming more and more unbearable.
I almost slapped my cousin last light.
That one has started growing sharp mouth.
Imagine, there is a 7years gap between me and that stupid thing oh!
My sister is one 1year older than her oh!

Its not her fault,
It is me who left my comfy home to come and squat in their house.
She has become excessively rude to every one.
She just like her elder ones feels free to talk anyone anyone.

I woke up this money to a dead phone and missing money from my wallet.
In that house we are not up to ten oh!
I usually wake up at the sound of my alarm at four.

I woke for six which is two hours behind and I was wondering what was wrong
only to realize that my alarm at not gone off all.
I was pretty much late to work.
Hopefully my boss was not around.

In this days of recession, someone is now stealing the little I have.
Imagine the frustration of waking up and having part of your money gone.
The person even pitied me and took half of the money.
The annoying part is they would all deny ever taking it.
No one ever admit to doing anything.
Except caught in the act.

I am thinking of moving out.
Moving back to my house is suicide missions as my house is far to town.
Moving t a friends, that one might even be worse.

With time I shall make a decision.

THAT TALK!!!!

I cannot believe I am listening to that talk;
The worst part is that it is coming from the last person on earth
I ever thought would discuss with me.
"My father"
My mother has done her best to stay off of it or not directly discussing it.

I am sensing some sort of conspiracy between those people;am sure my mum pushed it to him and the man too opened that his mouth and was asking.There are other unresolved issues, he should be discussing, but he would rather talk about this one,

Now I understand how Tigeress felt when she wrote her post And I Cried on the Train
He guy has refused to talk to me, like I really want to talk to him self!!!

The man was asking what my next plan was and me thinking the guy wanted to know how serious-minded I was, was reeling that, I intend getting a better job and go for my masters next-year oh. He was now telling me that, I should be thinking of masters in my husby's house or when engaged. Abeg what century does that man belong to; which kind of suggestion is that.

He goes on to say that now that I have a job, I should bring a man home and they would know that this is the one I want to marry.

Na so e easy!

He then tells me that his daughter who is almost 30 has never brought home a man, which one is my own with that one.
Is that why he want to marry me off. He wants to do Baba Iyawo.
Like he would even get that position self.

He even gave specifications:
I must marry a Muslim, like I intend to bring home a Hindustan home.
I do not necessarily have to like him at first, we can get to know each other, it is the guys character that matters.

I told him, that I don't have any one I am dating right now and the man says I must find one oh!
I don't know if i am supposed to carry ready for marriage on my head.

My aunt is even the worst, that particularly accused me off going out with a distant cousins half brother, telling me she heard and all.
I no blame that one, she has been trying to marry off her 28 year old daughter for some time now.

My mother is also now hostile on the issue, telling me all my friends are getting married and am doing jangan.I am happy for all my friends but for one thing I do not envy them at all.
The woman is even down with me bringing home a man from any religion, so far he is not a traditionalist.

I don't know what is wrong with this old folks,
They just do not understand that we have our life planned and
I particularly refuse to be forced into marrying anytime soon.
I shall marry at my own time and to man who I shall not be afraid to lose my self to.