Sunday, June 9, 2013

my heart is heavy

My heart is heavy, I have a lot on my mind at the moment and I have no where else to turn to but this space.

I know I have been for too long, 3 years to be exact and I know that of the blogs I used to read back then are closed now, don't even know if any one will be reading this but I have no option but to spill it out before I run mad keeping it all inside.

All lot has happened to me in te last 3 years and I am in a really dark place right now. I hope and pray I can pull through from this.

Thursday, November 4, 2010


The old man in my office has been ranting in my front for the past one hour.
He is angry, in short he is mad at the management.
He is talking about how there is no administration in this place.
Things have taken a bad turn in the organization, not financially but the administration abi is it management of this company is crazy.

Today is the 4th day of November and Oga Patapata has refused to sign our salary. Not that the company does not have money oh, according to the account person the profit this company makes is a
month is what some companies struggle to make in a year if not lesser. Oga Patapata just decided to do what she like and decided she is not ready to pay us yet. This is the major reason for the old man's rant, he has been with the company for the past 20years if not more. The annoying thing is he is ranting to me, a helpless me like him. I know I am supposed to be the one he reports to, he and two other junior staffs. But I am toothless dog who cannot bite. When Oga Patapata has spoken, nobody dares cough, especially not me the young lady(na wetin Oga Patapata dey call me). She has barred the MD who is her child to stop signing any company cheque. As far as I know it the MD who is always in charge, but here it is the Chairman.

Oga Patapata does as she likes, treats people like slaves and really does not care about them. I must say she does not do her craze to me, but it hurts me every time to see the way she treats people, especially those who work for her. Annoying is that I can not do anything about it, even if I could, I can not fight for people who do not want you to fight for them. The people here have grown thick skins to the inhuman treatment here, I don't think I can ever accept this kind of life

I and the Self have become sad and depressed, I am tired of complaining to friends, family and to you people. I want to resign from this place. Some of you might not understand, until you experience what I am talking about. I want to leave at the end of the month but ma said I should wait till the end of December. I am yet to decide on that because I cannot imagine spending 7more weeks in this dead place. I really do not care anymore, even the thought of been unemployed does not scare me. Yes I know it is hard to get a job, as my friends who do not really know what I am going through say, but I believe I need to get out of here as fast as I can.

My colleagues say it is because I have parents to fall back on, yes I am grateful to God for that, but I do not think I can stand half of the shit this people have come to accept as a way of life.

There is no career development or growth, people have been working in the same position for years. All my career aspirations that I discussed with the MD during my interview is sure not going to be accomplished here. Like one of my colleagues said the management would say to woo you to their company.

There is this woman who left her comfortable job, even though they were paying less to come here. To say she is regretting her decision is an understatement. When she just joined, they treated her like a queen, and she self was doing yanga, saying she is Oga Patapata's eyes. Them don show am pepper and now she is coming to the level of those she was doing yanga for.

Now I envy my friend who earns way lesser but works in a friendly environment. Now I know that when job hunting next time, a one man business even though a lot of them are LTD in disguise is a no-no.
3weeks or 7weeks more, I am not sure, all I know is I would not be here in 2011.
Ciao for now.

Friday, August 13, 2010

WICKED with an extra capital W

Yeah I know Nigerian films never fail to tell us how wicked people.
But till one crosses path with wicked people, you continue to assume they only exist in imaginary/film world.

What has my eyes not seen since I joined this company, what has my ear not heard.
I am officially job hunting as of now, because I do not see this as the environment for me.
A year in this place and I would go crazy.

Oga Pata pata is one wicked woman and I mean the wicked with and extra capital W if possible. The woman is a slave driver and sometimes I wonder if she has any ounce of feeling in that old body of hers. One thing I am grateful for is the fact that I do not work directly under her; but seeing the way she treats her staffs is terrible. The way she works those people, they sure would not live to be as old as the woman. We all pray for the not to visit the office because, whenever she comes, na so so kasala.

On the merge salary she pays her staff, she still treats them like crap as she does not even act like they are human beings, more like she sees them as a machine. They work monday to saturday. 9am to 11.45pm, and those that can go home still go, while most sleep over in the office. No matter the time they end work the day before, they must be on their seat by 9am in the morning. To sign salary at the end of the month na battle, to her she is doing us a favor by signing the cheaque and not that we are doing her a favor by working for her.
There are times she purposes refuse to pay salaries of her staffs for more than a month, not because there is no money, but because she does not want and has the power to do so.

Me, my own offence is that I do not know how to address elders. I do not say ma whenever i am talking to her and I sit down whenever she is addressing me. The woman talks fast and you have not finished answering question 1 before she asks question 2.

I am tired of complaining self, the only reason I am still here is because my family member believes I am making up stories and since I am not directly affected, I should not have any worries.

But when the environment is filled with tension, one  can so not have happiness. I hate the way she treats people, It makes me sad and angry that there is nothing I can do about it. I can always walk away if she tries the things she does for me but these people can't. They say it is because I am young and a woman, my parents can afford to take care of me. They have families to feed and bills to pay. What annoys me the most is that, these people have been taking this shit for many years, some 10, some 20, they seem to have developed a thick skin to her actions and ways. I know the day I can take it no more, I would walk away and that is surely soon, even if I end up in the unemployment market

Ramadhan Kareem to all the Muslims in the house.

Friday, July 16, 2010

still alive

Hi guys,

missed this spot, been very busy and the self is trying all her best to relegate me. Mba nu, i will not gree to that one. I will let her enjoy herself and then would rear my head pretty soon. Miss you guys, am reading all your blogs, even though have not been commenting. See BSNC is updating regularly, no wahala, would be back.

Enjoy your weekend every one

Tuesday, May 25, 2010


The other day on my way home, I had stopped to buy a drink as i was really thirsty, I collected my change from the woman and kept it in my bag. When I was about to pay the conductor, I searched my bag and could not find the money, mind you I remember zipping the bag. Even the money that i had kept at that same place was gone,as in everything. Thank God I had another  money somewhere in my purse, I would have been totally embarrassed by the rants of those conductors. I told a friend and she said that the money I was given, is called in Yoruba "owo anabo" (money spent that goes back to the owner) I hope translated it correctly. In Yoruba land, particularly in all those our Yoruba movies, you see a case where some spends money and all the other money disappears. I choose not to believe but how else do I explain all my money disappearing without my bag been open.

okay to the main Kasala.
For one thing I am tired of my place of work, the job is good like i said in my last post but the people are something else. Oga pata pata disrespects everyone and talk to them anyhow, the people self get their own craze for head.

So the other day, Oga pata pata came to the office for a meeting, around closing time. There was a particular lady that was waiting for her, all of a sudden, we heard a piercing noise. Oga pata pata had slapped the lady and all the eye witness said the lady was rude to oga pata pata. Things is Oga Pata pata is  an old woman and they said the lady was talking to her any how. but for me no matter what, she should not have slapped the lady and the lady is even 3months pregnant.

Na so the lady dey cry, saying she would not leave our office, until they give her the doc they were arguing on, she curse oga pata pat no be small. They even wanted to forcefully move her from the office but they were looking at her condition. Later, Oga pata pata too now vex and said the lady would not leave the building except she apologizes, Oga pata pata called the lady's boss and said she must apologizes. The lady no gree oh, she said unless they kill her before she will apologizes. This matter no be small matter oh, oga pata pata dey vex, the lady self they vex. The lady now looked up and said, 'God shey you see how this woman is suffering me, and she has her own children oh, God if I am at fault,...
Oga pata pata sensing the direction of the talk, sa na curse remain to finish the statement, now apologized to the lady and gave her her document.

When I saw the lady on my way home at the bus stop i pitied her, as she was seriously crying and worse is she is my name sake and we no dey gree intimidation. The next day the lady sent a text to Oga pata pata's assistant, cursing her and Oga, the woman show me the text, no be small curse oh.

I think i better start looking for another place to work, because i really can't stand all this kind of things, they she has never done that to any staff before but with the way she behave, don't want to be taking any stupid chance.

Thursday, April 22, 2010


Finally got my arse off facebook, yes oh
am so over that addiction called facebook, even deleted my email address, so as not to be tempted to go back, they say desperate things calls for desperate measure abi.
Yet to join the twitter wagon, so blogger is my own point of social networking.
My cousin have been creepy lately
They are snooping around for what i do not know, when I vist their house, one woulds be scrolling through my phone, the other through my bag or stuffs, what they are looking for I do not know. They sha want to know what is going on in my life, who I am dating and all that.

Work is good, I a, learning a lot but the people here are so strange and funny. Like they operate on a whole different level. They are scared of Oga pata pata this is no joke oh, as if the woman can tear them into pieces. One needs to really move round organization to realise that people are on a whole different angle from your point of view.
In my office, every one na oga, I don tire self. The MD is usually not around and have actually not seen her since I started work but all the other ogas have scoin scoin in their head.
Asides from the people, no problem as I get a good deal of learning, and I really am here to learn so that I can move on to a better place.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


You want this, he said
I don't want to, I said
But you're all wet, you are responding to my kisses and touch, why are you doing this, he said
I said I don't want, I snapped and got off the bed.

What You do not realise
You refuse to accept is that my body lies.
You want it but I don't
My body wants it
But my mind rejects it.

If I yield to my body, I would be unhappy
If I yield to my mind, I would miss out on a one time fun.
I would rather stick to my gut and listen to my mind.