A BOTCHED JOB

I have always felt like a botched job.
God was in such a hurry to have me created,
that He bungled me all up.
God in his hurry did me badly.
Physically, I'm not badly looking,
At least He did not patch me on that:
so don't think am complaining about that.
It's just that, those things you which makes
one whole and fulfilled are missing in my life.
I’m a child of passion and not love.
I was an unplanned and unwanted fruit of passion,
I guess that accounts for my
inability to love.
God just wanted me to be.
There are days when I wished,
He had given my mother the strength
to get rid of me back then.
And there are those days when I
am really grateful she gave me life.
She gave me hope,
It is because of this hope,
that I have the courage to embark on the journey.
As a kid, I had this believe that God hated me,
because I could not understand why,
family members showed me so much hate.
Like it was my fault that my parents
were so careless, not to have taken precautions.
I come a family, where we find it difficult,
to hide our emotions, we just say it out loud.
Happiness is the one thing, God has denied me.
It is the reason why I have embarked on this journey.
HAPPINESS is the home I seek.
The journey has been a long and tedious one.
Every day, I crave for this happiness and
know that someday, I will get it.
It has eluded me for so long,
when the time is right, It will be mine.
It just that the pains and agonis that goes with searching
for it is killing.