Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Bad Friend my ass

I was called a bad and uncaring friend recently by a friend.

Why should i be called uncaring and bad, because I do not return his calls
Truth is am very bad at returning calls, am soo an sms person. This friend of my mine can sure call one like mad. Every gist he must call me to talk about. He no know say talk dey tire person. The dude just does not realize that there are those moment when you want your Me Alone time. No calling you does not mean you are not my friend, nor that i do not care.

What caused all this wahala was that he called me recently and said he has been down and unhappy, what is the problem,I asked. He no gree talk but kept saying he is sure i was going to laugh at him and me as I get my own headache that the phensic wey i use no gree quench I shut up my mouth.

Days later, he sent me a text telling me that he is home crying for a late brother that died about 16years ago and his popsy too wey don die tey tey. As a friend, i replied that God would grant them peace and make them inmates of heaven. abi wetin i for do now. Only for me to meet him online on fb and he was telling me that i am a bad friend, i do not care about him.

Shuo! see me see wahala, wetin i for do, was i supposed to be crying along with him, abi na to come dey beg am say make he no cry again. The bad friend part was so uncalled for and abeg am his friend not his girl friend or sister.

Maybe I do not know what it is like lose a father or any parent at all but i know what it is like to live without a father's love. At least his father spent his life time loving him ad he has such wonderful memories of the guy. I don't have any and i have never for one day cried over it or make myself pitiful for people to start consoling me.

I am all for living and make the best of what life has to give you and not mope around for that which is lost. yeah, it's painful but we must not live in the past and expect pity, pity is that which i detest and never wantfrom people.


Kilishi Diaries said...

As someone who has lost immediate family members as well, I know that there is no other feeling on earth that can be compared to the intense sense of loss! And one is UNABLE to grasp the depths of pain unless you've been in the situation yourself and have lost an immediate family member. There is nothing like it- your life/world as you know it changes forever. I firmly disagree with you somewhat downplaying his emotions as if to say, "It's been ages ago - get over it! Man up! You don't see me crying over the lack of a father figure in my life!" There really is no comparison - there isn't a level playing field for the two! How would you know what you're missing if you never had a loving father? In fact, having a loving parent and then losing them is incredibly different & difficult....sometimes I wish it would be EASIER if I didn't even know that parent... Don't get me wrong, I'm living life with gusto despite circumstances I don't wish on my worst enemy! It's been 8+ years for me and I still have days where I cry and I'm an emotional wreck. I have to pick out the friends that I feel will understand and those that usually do are my folks who have been in same situation - they can truly empathize rather than sympathize. Don't mean to come off as critical with my 2 kobo... No vex. Biko, just have a little more grace with him....

The Girl with the Red Hair said...

Get your point, and am not vexed. Guess I needed someone to make me see his point of view

Repressed One said...

Aww the poor guy...cosigning Kilishi

I can kinda relate sha cos i'm a txt person myself...difference is the ones that still call call without expecting me to and the ones that care don't much anymore. Maybe you can try calling every now and again...

onosetale(damsel) said...

i understand where ur coming from, but it seems like ur friend only wants someone to spill his feelings to,maybe u should just start by calling him once in a while just to check on him...lots of ppl are like that: they laugh on the outside but are really dying on the inside.

F said...

I am with you on this one. Without meaning to be heartless, everyone has issues they are dealing with. Yes, good friends are there to HELP- but not to CARRY entire burdens for people.

Having someone depend on you so intensely for something can be stifling- I have been in such a situation of being accused of lacking emotion on top this you no dey call, you no dey answer phone gist. The person didn't understand that I was in a VERY dark place myself and speaking to people just wasn't the best thing at that time- NO MATTER WHO IT WAS.

You said it best. "There are those moment when you want your Me Alone time". True talk.

Post a Comment